I surrender things to be cheerful

I thought of making a list of the things I eliminated from my life to share with you to inspire you and help you enjoy life more. Some time ago, I came across a quote that seems me to capture my opinion as an escort girl about happiness strictly:

“Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of travelling.” —Margaret Lee Runbeck. (“Happiness is not a state you can reach, but a way to travel”)

Most people seem to “seek” happiness constantly. This is because they have the impression that happiness depends on something they can “get” through a new acquisition, whether a talent, an object, a relationship, a job at the Escort Agency, status or simply money. In either case, look for happiness outside. It is conditioned by something outside of them.

Only after a lot of work with myself and many experiences generated by these searches I understood that happiness is, first of all, a personal choice, a right for which it depends exclusively on me and how I choose to see and live things and life. During the more than 15 years since I started the journey towards my inner self, I discovered many behaviours, patterns, mentalities and beliefs by which I guided my life and stole my happiness.

I thought of making a list of the things I eliminated from my life to share with you to inspire you and help you enjoy life more. This is part I of the article – I have many more valuable things to share.

The chaotic schedule and lack of routines

We live in a world full of opportunities and things we want to do, and we don’t want to lose anything; we are bombarded from all sides with more irresistible offers to bring happiness, popularity, a more beautiful life or a better position in society. As time is increasingly limited, we run forever after them so as not to miss any opportunity. Still, we inevitably end up forgetting about ourselves and our needs, about the resources that give us the energy to function in a balanced way every day.

It wasn’t until I realized that I was exhausted and drained of energy, in a continuous rush from one event to another and always late, that my life needed a healthy routine.

I replaced the chaos with attention to myself and the discipline I needed to be able to say no. One of the practices that help me is to write down in my diary, at the beginning of each week, my activities and resources that I never skip (gym, yoga, meditation). I know they are essential for obtaining and maintaining the energy I need until the end of the week.

Life on automatic pilot (disconnected from my needs, lacking presence and awareness)

Because of the fast pace in which we all live, with so much to do, we have no time, patience or habit of turning to our insides, to what we feel, to our needs, to emotions, to fears, to those things that burden us and gives us states of anxiety. We become little robots that do and forget to “be”.

I replaced the role of a robot with that of an adult responsible for every moment of his life. I worked a lot with the ability to be present and to be aware of everything I do, think, and feel. The change was fantastic: I can be attentive to myself, what I live, to what I want, and I need the people around me and the things my relationships show.

The beliefs I was raised with

You should know that I result from a rigid upbringing. What you don’t know, however, is that this rigidity made me highly critical of myself and others, constantly judging everything and everyone, and imprinted beliefs on me that were very hard to get rid of, once I made them aware. Believe me when I tell you that the rigours with which I was raised and the labels I used to immerse myself could be the subject of dozens of articles here on the blog.

Here are some examples: you are not allowed not to know, not to be able, to make mistakes, to be angry, not to be correct, to bother, to make fun of yourself, to be rude, to talk when you are not asked, to go out, to turn adults’ words around, and many others like that.

Taking things personally

Before I started working with myself, being a compassionate nature (I was born under the sign of Cancer, so an extra vulnerability comes from there, too!), I tended to take things very personally in any area of ​​my life. If -one day someone didn’t greet me or talk to me like I used to, didn’t answer my phone or had a different tone than before, I automatically thought that I must have done something, that this was happening because of me, and not for a second It crossed my mind that the man in question was having a bad day or was too busy to take into account my sensitivity.

In addition, I did not know how to accept a simple “no” without thinking that I had done something wrong or without feeling rejected. However, after a lot of practice, after I learned to withdraw into the pose of a superficial observer and, above all, to stop being so critical all the time, I got used to not drawing hasty conclusions about myself or people’s opinions and behaviours. This gave me a lot of freedom. I realized that I was always making efforts for something that had nothing to do with me and exhausting myself. I stopped thinking about what I could do to win their attention and love and let things pass through me more easily.

Perfectionism

When you are raised with the idea that you have to do everything irreproachably, flawlessly, and ideally, you have no way of wishing to be otherwise. Anything outside this sphere makes you inadequate and unworthy of attention and love. I say this because, somewhere in our childhood, we all associate the appreciation and validation of our parents with love; in this way, love is conditioned by how well we do things. When some rigid and extremely critical parents raise us, we tend to make endless efforts not to do anything wrong and not to lose their love.